Many people believe that mothers have an advantage in the family court system. In the past, that may have been true. Courts assumed that mothers were the primary caregivers in a family and often awarded them custody in a divorce. Now, North Carolina law specifically prohibits the court from making these gender-based decisions. Instead, the courts are supposed to presume that mothers and fathers play equal roles and should have equal rights.
This assumption does not reflect reality for many families. Mothers remain the primary caregivers in some situations, and even involved dads may not know important details about their children’s lives. In addition, women often sacrifice their careers to spend time raising young children. In those families, it is unfair to treat the fathers and mothers equally. A Charlotte mother’s rights lawyer could ensure that the court has the facts to rebut the presumption of equal parenting responsibilities.
Divorcing moms are often at a significant disadvantage. Whether a mother stayed at home, worked part-time, or focused on her career, she was probably still the primary parent. The primary parent is the one who knows the kids’ doctors, which medications they take, their favorite foods, their allergies, their bedtime habits, and similar parts of their daily routine. The primary parent is also the one whose life generally gets disrupted if a child is ill, needs to visit a doctor, or has another issue requiring a parent to miss work. While it may seem outdated to think of one parent as a primary parent, that is still the reality in many families.
One of the challenges of being a primary parent is that it can impact a person’s career. During a divorce, that can translate into making less money. Even if a partner has not been an involved parent, they may oppose a mother getting primary custody. In many cases, the opposition has nothing to do with a child’s best interests. Instead, many fathers are motivated by a desire not to pay child support.
If a mother has been the primary parent, the court will consider that when making custody decisions. The court uses the best interest standard to determine where to place a child. In addition to looking at the child’s current routine and emotional connection to both parents, they consider the parent’s ability to meet the child’s needs — not just physical but also emotional, mental, and moral.
The moral needs issue is essential because courts consider parental behavior in their decisions. Since there is still a double standard about acceptable behavior for males and females, mothers who engage in extra-marital affairs, promiscuous behavior, or partying may be penalized. A mother’s rights attorney could work hard to ensure that the analysis focuses on a mother’s ability to parent a child.
Single mothers have a custody advantage in North Carolina. Put more accurately, single fathers have a disadvantage in North Carolina custody decisions. Until a father establishes paternity, they have no legal rights to a child born to unmarried parents. Since establishing paternity can take time, this can impact a father’s ability to see a child when they are young.
Because children begin to bond with primary caregivers immediately, this can give a mother an advantage in custody determinations because she will be part of the child’s daily routine and be bonded with the child. In these scenarios, the mother almost always retains at least joint custody unless the father can demonstrate that the mother is unfit.
However, joint custody may not be an ideal situation for a child. In some scenarios, biological fathers have expressed no interest in their children for years. Then, when they start dating someone new, they try to spend time with a child in order to pretend to be a great dad. They may also try to get custody if they find child support payments burdensome or if a mother is doing well financially and the dad thinks he can get child support from her. A mother’s rights attorney knows how to handle these developments.
If you are a mom who is worried about losing custody of your children, or if you are seeking a modification of a current order, you need a Charlotte mother’s rights lawyer. Our team could focus on demonstrating why you are the best caretaker for your child. By showing the reality of daily parenting, we could help overcome the presumption that parents are equal caretakers. Schedule a consultation to learn more.
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